‘Mermaid school’ is in session in Maui

TORONTO STAR

WAILEA, MAUI-“Pick a tail, any tail you’d like,” says Lila Jones, pointing to an oversized bag filled with shiny, colourful mermaid tails lounging on the creamy, butterscotch sand of Makena beach.

I feel like I’ve stepped up to a beach-based game booth where my prize is my being transformed into a sea goddess.

I choose the aqua blue baby and shimmy into the snugly fitting, uh, mermaid tail. “Damn you delicious mai tais,” I think in a post-last-night moment of regret since the tight tail leaves nothing to the imagination. Except, of course, imagining myself as a sea creature.

Jones, a marine biologist and our mermaid instructor, tells the other mermaids-in-training in my group to fasten the velcro strap inside the tail around our feet and then it’s off to where we belong, under the sea! Almost . . .

“It’s going to be weird at first since you’re used to using both legs,” says Jones. “You’ll have to think like a mermaid, use your whole body to move.”

Yes, right, of course! Think like a mermaid. Lesson No. 1 in Mermaid School: Think like a mermaid. Lesson No. 2: Move like a mermaid. Lesson No. 3: Try not to fall immediately after fusing your legs together. Lesson No. 4: Everybody falls sometime.

Since I’ve spent most of my land-locked life not necessarily thinking like a mermaid, thinking with sea legs isn’t necessarily intuitive. So I try to channel my inner Ariel. (Or Daryl Hannah, if you’re old like I am.) I lay on a rock in an attempt to become one with my uni-leg.

“Come to the sand and wiggle around,” says Jones.

Sure, no prob, I got this, I think. Operative word being think. I worm my way off the rock onto the sand and ungracefully perfect the crab crawl as I wriggle backwards toward the ocean. It quickly becomes rather fun to embody another being.

“Move slowly into the water because it’s a different feeling with a mermaid tail. When you kick, make a nice swiggle with your body. Relax your feet for an easy up-and-down motion,” says Jones.

“Like doing the worm?” I proudly ask, showing my age to the others with my ’80s breakdance-move reference.

“Yes, like the worm,” confirms Jones.

And with that, I slither into the Pacific Ocean. The warm water washes over me, as does a smile.

If spirit animals do exist, dolphins and I are one. I’ve always been a water girl, drawn to the beauty, serenity and power of oceans. But I hadn’t given much thought to mermaids. In high school, classmates sometimes called me Pocahontas or Jasmine in reference to the Disney movie characters, presumably because I was one of just a handful of South Asian kids at school, and that was their level of creativeness. But never Ariel à la The Little Mermaid. And yet, here I am, trading my land legs for sea legs. I never considered the possibility of “becoming a mermaid.” Until I discovered that possibility existed after someone let me in on this secret underwater world in Maui.

Jones started Hawaii Mermaid Adventures with Hawaiian Paddle Sports. Jones says her goal has been to teach others mermaid folklore, but more importantly, about marine protection, while having fun. She doesn’t disappoint.

“Let me tell you a story,” says Jones as we move about above the water. “Mermaids in ancient Greece were one with the ocean, they loved animals and wanted to protect them. When the sailors over fished and killed whales, the mermaids sang to the sailors, who would be drawn to them. The mermaids would lure ships onto the rocks and let them be destroyed. And now we’re today’s protectors of the ocean.”

Jones, who collects garbage on the beach and in the ocean before and during the tour, goes on to explain the importance of preventing plastic products from entering bodies of water. Plastic breaks down into tiny particles but doesn’t decompose; it ends up being consumed by tiny fish, who think it’s food, and then by larger species who eat small fish.

Jones also stresses using sunscreen containing zinc oxide instead of oxybenzone, a chemical inhibitor that blocks coral from accessing sunlight when it seeps into the water. We also learn Hawaii has recently been designated one of the largest marine protected areas in the world. Huzzah! That makes this pseudo-mermaid happy.

With that knowledge, we splash around some more. It’s tricky at first. I attempt to swim to a raft Jones has stabilized in the ocean, where she teaches us mono-tail swimming skills.

She takes us to underwater hula hoops and we swim through them before we start snorkelling to meet our fellow sea friends.

Interacting with the underwater world as a sea creature is magically fun. All I can hear in my head is, “Look at this trove. Treasures untold. How many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here you think, sure, she’s got everything.” Little Mermaid ditties aside, I do feel as if I’ve got everything as I glance towards Maui’s gorgeous palm-tree-lined coast, the sun beating down on my salt-water washed face. Ariel, meet your new (South Asian) replacement. Charmaine Noronha was hosted by Residence Inn Maui Wailea and its partners, which didn’t review or approve this story.

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